Grit in the Age of Instant Everything: Why It Still Matters (and How to Teach It)

My husband and I were having a slow dinner in Greece when our discussion took an unexpected turn – in a world of AI, what will the schools’ role be? What do we need to teach our children? We agreed that in a world that rewards fast results, flawless filters, and one-click answers, one quiet quality may matter more than ever: grit.

Grit isn’t glamorous. It doesn’t go viral. It’s slow. It’s not attractive. Sometimes frustrating. Almost always invisible. And yet, in schools—and in life—it’s one of the most important qualities we can nurture in our children.

As a school founder and educator, I’ve watched students flourish not because everything came easily to them, but because they kept going when it didn’t. And that, at its core, is grit: the ability to stay engaged, curious, and determined—especially when things get hard.

I remember one story from one good school in Lithuania: the school – during the pandemic – was very happy with the exam results. The Principal was speaking publicly that the school did very well despite the pandemics. I, on the other hand, knew the story behind the wonderful facade: while many teachers did their best, some of the lessons did not take place, some teachers just sent some tasks to be completed etc. And yet – despite it all – the students did very well. So, what was the secret?! They all had grit. They wanted to go to the best of universities. Honestly, they would have done very well without the school and without the teachers – only with very little guidance. As long as they knew what to study, they made it. Grit. And everything that goes with it.

So, What Is Grit?

Psychologist Angela Duckworth defines grit as “passion and perseverance for long-term goals.” It’s not about talent or even intelligence—it’s about what you do when motivation fades and effort is the only thing left.

For schoolchildren, grit shows up when:

• They rewrite an essay after tough feedback.
• They keep practicing a difficult piece of music.
• They return to a math problem for the third (or tenth) time.

Etc.

It’s not about being perfect. It’s about not quitting.

Why Grit Matters in Today’s World

We don’t live in a particularly “gritty” age. Children are growing up in a time of:

• Instant gratification
• Algorithm-driven feedback loops
• Highly edited versions of success

On social media, success looks instant. We see the final result—not the drafts, the doubts, or the detours. When that’s all kids are exposed to, they start to believe that if something is hard or messy, they’re doing it wrong. That if success isn’t immediate, it’s not for them.

This creates a toxic perfectionism and fear of failure—two of grit’s biggest enemies.

The AI Temptation: Outsourcing the Process

As if social media weren’t enough, now we face a new challenge: artificial intelligence. AI tools can write your essay, solve your math, and answer your questions faster than any teacher ever could. So why should a child wrestle with an idea when ChatGPT can explain it in five seconds?

Make no mistake – I love ChatGPT! I edit, question, supplement…I do A LOT with the help of ChatGPT. It‘s just that I see it – and I would like my children to see it – as a tool. As a tool to be used to make your life easier. To perform the mundane tasks faster. To concentrate where only I am able to do the best quality of work.

Here’s the danger: if we let technology replace effort, we rob our children of the very process that develops their minds. Grit isn’t just about finishing a task—it’s about becoming someone through the act of doing the task.

Again: AI is a tool. It should support learning—not replace it. We must help children use technology wisely, without losing the effort, creativity, and struggle that build character.

I fear that AI will make smart and capable children smarter and children who don’t ask questions…they will ask even less. What kind of society will we be if we stop asking questions? Stop reflecting?

Recently I saw a video of an American traveler in China: she was super happy that she did not have to look for her flight – the facial recognition system showed on screen her flight as soon as she would come close to the screen. Honestly, it freaked me out. Instead of being happy (as she was), I had more questions and more worries about my data being used. I don’t think it’s a super hassle to look at the board for a couple of minutes to find one’s flight, actually. I would rather not share my personal data.

How We Teach Grit

The good news? Grit can be taught. It’s not something children either have or don’t—it’s something we nurture. And we do that by creating a culture that values effort over ease.

Here’s how:

1. Model Perseverance

Let them see you fail and try again. Talk openly about what was hard for you and how you kept going.

2. Praise the Process

Instead of “You’re so smart,” say “I love how hard you worked on that.” Focus on strategies, not outcomes.

3. Normalize Struggle

Let kids know that feeling stuck, frustrated, or unsure is not only okay—it’s part of learning. Help them push through it. And STOP – please STOP – rushing to their aid as soon as they encounter a problem. Hard? Good! That means you‘re learning!

4. Protect Space for Deep Work

Limit digital distractions. Create environments where kids can focus for more than a few minutes. This is where grit gets built.

5. Celebrate Progress

Show them how far they’ve come, not just how far they have to go. Progress builds confidence—and confidence builds perseverance.

A Final Thought

Our children are living in extraordinary times. They are surrounded by speed, shortcuts, and superficial markers of success. But the real, meaningful work of growing up? That still takes time. It takes failure. It takes starting over.

And most of all—it takes grit.

Let’s raise children who can face the future with resilience. Let’s teach them to value process over polish, growth over perfection, and effort over ease.

In the age of instant everything, grit might just be the one thing worth waiting for.